As some of you may know, I offer up the blog to guest posters when they have something to say. Today’s poster has requested to remain anonymous, and who can blame her. It bears emphasizing that this post was not written by me…and I’m not mentioned in it!

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I just have to get this off my mind so that I can get over it. Professionally my boss is great. There is nobody who cares more to help you achieve your personal professional goals. She is pretty savvy when it comes to corporate politics, is supportive in every way, and loves to promote a healthy team atmosphere. You know that she has your back when things get sticky. All in all, I do love what I do. But…

She drives me fucking crazy on a personal level.

I am very lucky in that I got to travel abroad for a week to attend training. With my boss. I never realized just how fucking batty she makes me until this week.

She often talks in a high pitched little girl voice. It’s not her normal voice. No executive should EVER speak in such a tone. EVER. It’s like she thinks it makes her cute or something. It makes me want to smack her.

She is so high strung and stressed out, she made what could have been the trip of a lifetime into a trip from hell. It was all about what chaotic disaster of the moment she had going on. You know, it’s all about her. She started complaining of how worried she was to go through the airport a full day before departing. Are you kidding me? Oh and her hubby has health issues, she closed on the sale of her house this week while she was gone, and then there are the fires at work.

Her “new” word is “sexy”. That is so a DECADE ago!!! We need to make the system “sexy”. There is nothing sexy about it or any system, her, or my work. I cringe to bloody hell every time she says it. Oh, and she literally says “it’s my new word”. LADY, YOU, OF ALL PEOPLE, SHOULD NEVER EVER USE THAT WORD!

She uses air quotes. ALL THE TIME. But instead of bent fingers, she uses straight fingers and moves them down. Go ahead, try it. You know you want to. Doesn’t it look stupid??!! I know!

She stares at people, especially me when she talks. At least that is what it feels like. It’s eerie and makes me uncomfortable. There has been a time where she has asked a question to a group, but she’s only looking at me, and I said “I don’t know” or whatever, and she said “I know you don’t, I’m asking the group”. Then quit fucking staring me down!

She doesn’t eat junk food. Or sauces. Or much cheese at all. Or bread. Or anything different. Or flavorful. Give her a bowl of sautéed vegetables and she’s set. I guess.

She’s so cheap. We paid individually to take the subway one evening to dinner. Why the hell we didn’t catch a cab, I will never know. On the last night, we walked to dinner and she said that we could have taken a cab to anywhere we wanted, because we could expense it. GEE THANKS FOR GIVING ME ADVANCED NOTICE SO THAT I COULD HAVE ASKED A COWORKER FOR A RESTAURANT RECOMMENDATION. THANKS FOR THAT. So, after a boring dinner of a cheese pizza, because I was the only one without an English menu 10 pages long until 2 minutes before the waitress showed up to take our order, I said that I was going to walk down the other way to go to a market that is still open. She said “well, we should all stick together”. The look I gave her BECAUSE I’M A GROWN FUCKING WOMAN said it all. She laughed and made a comment to the others, look at her face. I will have you know SHE’S ONLY 12 YEARS OLDER THAN ME. It makes me want to go walk the street right now just so I can tell her what I saw tomorrow to see if she even thinks of lecturing me. I AM NOT YOUR FUCKING DAUGHTER, you paranoid psycho.

True story, on the way back from the subway, the sun was almost all the way down. The street lights were on. I hope she was joking when she said, “it’s getting scary” in her little girl voice, but the sad thing is that I know she wasn’t.

She won’t shut the fuck up. I’m serious. She CONSTANTLY TALKS. She makes weird noises spontaneously. It sounds weird to say it, but I don’t know any other way to describe it. She whispers when she types too. There is constant noise coming from her….

Every time I tried to talk about something I was interested in on a personal basis, she had 3 stories that were WAY better than mine so she interrupts me CONSTANTLY to share her experience. It makes me give up and not say a word. I get extremely quiet, cause hey, what I have to say doesn’t matter. It’s not like I can get any air time anyway.

She ALWAYS talks about work. She is so fucking one dimensional it’s nauseating. Work, work, work. I’m fucking off the clock, quit preaching to me. I tuned you out two hours ago.

I don’t have anything against people who don’t drink. More power to them. But don’t expect me not to. I’ve never drank so little in the week that I’ve been IN A COUNTRY THAT DRINKS LIKE THEY ARE ONE BIG SCHOOL OF FISH! If I could have figured out something to order, I would have. Several times I had no idea what to order, so I just ordered still water. You know, the kind without fizz.

She interrupts me and everyone on her team constantly. I hate it. I try to talk super fast and answer all her questions before she asks them because when I present something, I know she will interrupt me. It’s getting old.

She is a drama queen and can overreact. At dinner one night, where she monopolized the conversation to talk with a new coworker to the group, I had to listen to NOTHING BUT SHOP TALK FOR 2.5 HOURS. I accidentally knocked over a small glass and it cracked. I set it back up and said oops. The two conversation whores said “what happened” like a half minute later. A guy on that end of the table said the glass broke. She turned and looked, and I swear to god she literally gasped and said “did it break?”. I said “it’s OK” maybe a little louder than I expected because she shocked me with her reaction. To which she said even louder, “I know but that’s not what I asked”. So I said “yes, it broke”. End of story. So a thin little glass broke when it tipped over. I’m sure it was the first time in restaurant history. It was SUCH AN ODD EXCHANGE. I still don’t know what to think of it.

I travelled with two non-drinking, plain-food loving people this week. Thank goodness my foreign co-workers took us out for two fun meals. The “locals” here are nothing but fun. They helped me find beer the two nights they took us out. God bless them. They were the only highlights of my trip.

I swear to god if she tries to hug me goodbye I will deck her. When someone asks me how beautiful the country is, or how great of a time I had, I seriously don’t know how the hell I’m going to politely lie. And honestly? With the exception of those two meals, I could have been in any city of substantial size in America because of the hours I worked.

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Anonyvox, again. Doesn’t that sound horrifying? This boss sounds like a total kook. I enjoy traveling for work, even if it’s to the darkest buttholes of Wyoming and Nevada, just because you’re seeing something different. I can’t imagine going to someplace out of the country and being too scared to really explore, or eat authentically. So now in lieu of guest posting, be a pal and tell me in the comments about your worst work trip.

This entry was posted on Sunday, July 14th, 2013 at 11:02 pm and is filed under Guest Vox. You can leave a comment and follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

4 Comments Leave a comment

    Shelly said:

    Jul. 15, 2013

    That’s really so sad because I think you could have had an amazing time. What a missed opportunity all because your boss is psychotic and immature, but definitely NOT sexy.

    RageMichelle said:

    Aug. 30, 2013

    Wow…Crazy bosses…they’re everywhere.

    Leilani said:

    Sep. 8, 2013

    I’m upset and stressed from reading this now:/ How horrible!

    Jessica C. said:

    Jun. 4, 2014

    I can’t stop laughing at this!
    I haven’t had any truly bad similar experiences with a boss. I was a massage therapist in the past so I have oodles of stories about clients, though.

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